Hey, Mary! I really like the idea you have for your storybook- Sita certainly is an interesting character so it will be neat to read from her perspective and I definitely enjoy reading love stories so I look forward to reading your blog for that reason as well. I felt as if your introduction was very well written and informative, and you set up the other pages quite well when you wrote “she decided to start a new daily task: writing a blog.” I’m a little bit confused on whether or not the whole blog will be from Sita’s perspectives although there are four individuals with this ability making up two couples, but I trust that will become more clear as the blog progresses. I appreciate how you described how nice and amicable Rama and Sita were even before they got to know each other so I’m already rooting for them to match up (even though I know they will). I like the idea of ancient lovers with a modern twist- blogging on the internet. The background you provided on Rama and Sita was really nice, and I’m interested to see how the other stories for the blog pan out. Great job! P.S.- the cover page looks great as well!
Mary what great introduction! I was excited to see how you would create your storybook and make your epic couple stories because I am doing mine over the epic couples as well. You did a great job portraying Rama and Sita! Their love story could literally take forever to describe and talk about but I liked how you introduced both the characters, it was descriptive yet interesting. I wanted to read more once I got done with the introduction so that’s a good thing! I also love the picture you chose its a beautiful picture of them two. I am going to have a tough time finding a better picture for my storybook. I can't wait to see what else you have in mind for your book! So far you have done a great job with the introduction and pictures and storyline. Great job! Can't wait to read more stories of couples in love. I liked the colors you chose as well. I would probably change the font just to make the whole site look more appealing. I like the font now but personally I would pick a better font so it would make the reader more excited! But other than that your in good shape! Great job!
Mary, I love your cover page! The picture that you chose to portray the couple does a wonderful job at displaying the bond between them. They certainly look like they are deeply in love with one another. Moving on to your introduction, I found the method that you chose to portray the story book in to be very interesting. I like the mix of the traditional story with the modern method of blogging as the method of communication. Sita is a very interesting character, so I am curious and excited to see how this will develop. Will Sita be the only character to discuss the occurrences from her perspective, or will Rama be telling how things developed from his viewpoint? Also, does the goddess continue to play a role, or is she there solely to be used for convenience in the story? I really appreciate that you give a back story to the two characters, showing how they develop from their role before they meet into the couple that they become. Do you have any specific scenes that you are planning on focusing on, or are you going to be going over their actions and adventures together as a whole? So far you are doing a really good job. I look forward to seeing your story develop and grow over the coming weeks. Keep up the good work!
Great introduction Mary! I was really intrigued by the introduction of your story. I think the questions you ask at the beginning really hook the reader into trying to figure out why you are asking so many questions at the beginning. The first question, “Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking?” is very powerful at the beginning, because everyone would love the ability to instantly find out what other people are thinking, so I think it sets up your storybook for an adventurous theme. I like how you kind of make the introduction sound like an advertisement for a new reality TV show or something. I felt like I was watching the previews to new shows on ABC instead of reading a story, so great job following that theme and integrating it well! I am really interested to read your stories when you get around to them. I think they would be really interesting if you continued the reality/game show theme. Also, maybe a good idea for a picture is to design maybe a logo type image for a reality show appearing on ABC that features Sita and Rama and their ability to know what each other are thinking! Great introduction!
Hi Mary! I love you Coverpage! Your layout is super beautiful! The sparkles are perfect for your theme. I also really like the picture you chose. It is so bright and colorful! Your Introction is very intriguing! For some reason, I do not like how the second sentence sounds. I think it would flow better if you switched it up a bit. Saraswati sounds like such an awesome character! Rama and Sita are built up very nicely in this introduction as well. I am looking forward to finding out who the other characters are that you are going to use! Giving Rama a blog was such a creative idea! It gives a nice modern twist to an ancient story. I agree with you, Rama was extremely blunt! I was shocked with how honest he was! The image you chose was very fitting! I think that you should change the font on your page. I feel like a cursive font (but still easy to read) would be more fitting! Good job and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories in the future! Have a great week!
Hi Mary! You did a great job with your storybook so far! I loved reading your stories so far and I must say you have your readers’ attention throughout the whole story, which is great! I love the cover page layout and the picture you chose for the cover page. I would suggest, maybe use the other couple's picture also in the cover page so they know whom else you is going to talk about in your storybook. I think having only one picture makes it hard for the readers to understand the idea of the overall idea. Your introduction is great and super impressive for readers because they sure want to read more and keep on anticipating what is about to come next. I am keen to see which photo you pick for your introduction since you basically picked the best Rama and Sita picture so far! I love how detailed and direct your blog regarding Rama's emotions were which is great. I am also doing mine over the epic couples but mine is more diary style then blog style. Great job so far! I think you have the right ideas and concepts for your storybook and you sure are in the right direction. Everything looks great so far and I love the background you chose as well. Great job.
Hi Mary! I really loved your storybook right from the beginning! I took a class with Professor Gibbs a couple semesters ago and loved when people used that layout because it has such a romantic feel to it! I loved the picture on that page too because I loved the story of Sita and Rama. I absolutely love all of the humor you brought to your introduction. I think my favorite part was when you talked about the goddess using the internet...very clever! To be totally honest, I usually get pretty sidetracked while reading blogs and stuff but yours kept me totally interested! I really loved the blog from Ramas point of view. I loved all of the personality you gave Rama! I especially loved the part about Rama being so excited about marrying Sita. I thought it was adorable to see how excited he was about marrying her. I thought you did such a good job at keeping the audience entertained and expectant of what your storybook was all about! I really can't wait to read the rest of your additions and to see which couples you end up choosing!
Great design. The picture you chose for you home page was perfect for the content of your storybook. Your introduction did a great job of setting up your storybook. Your opening lines are extremely strong and they grab the reader right off so that they are brought into the world you are creating. Your first story was a creative way to put a new spin on the diary based storybooks we read at the beginning of the semester. I could almost see Sita doing the facebook creep on Rama to see what he had said about her after they finally met. Your introduction said that you would add another picture as soon as we started the next book and you chose another couple. I think once you do a version of Sita’s blog your two stories will tie together very nice. I am sure that they will complement each other and as strong as your first story is, it will become even stronger and more interesting with the addition. I don’t really have too many critiques of your story book, I think once I read the next story I will better be able to get a complete picture of your storybook. You are off to a really strong start and I am looking forward to reading your other stories.
On first visiting your storybook page I noticed the design. I think the image you chose is great for a tale of two couples, as is the background full of stars. Your introduction does a great job of explaining the concept of your storybook. We almost never get to hear what Rama is thinking during the readings, so I really like the idea of your storybook. I think you did a great job of writing the blog entry in you first story. Rama can be a tough character to write as, because we know so little of what he is thinking. You could have portrayed him anyway you like, but I like that you tried to stick to what you think he was like in the story. I liked how Rama is hoping and praying that he will get to marry Sita and he does these trials, because he fell in love with her at first sight. He doesn't know her name or anything about her, but he can't stop thinking about the girl from the balcony. Luckily, he ends up getting to marry her. I think your storybook has a great beginning, and I am looking forward to seeing what you do with the rest of it.
I really enjoyed your storybook. I excited to see it when you finally add another couple, because right now I did feel a little depressed and gypped that I didn’t get to see everything. I think the theme you used is nice, but kind of overused. I think it would be lovely if you added your own background and made it all a little more online dating looking. I know your storybook isn’t an online dating one, but I think it would make everything a bit intriguing to readers, especially if you didn’t use such and overused theme. I’m not quite sure how your introduction plays into your actual storybook. What does Saraswati giving these four individuals the gift of truth really have to do with your storybook? It just seems like you’ve got blogs for each individual about falling in love. I think there would be more interesting ways of doing this (like a dating profile site or an interview type situation). Anyway, right now I just don’t see how the introduction and the individual blogs work together. I love your pictures, though. I think you chose really gorgeous ones, and I’m really excited to see where you take your storybook.
Hey Mary! This was a really great idea of a storybook, writing a blog about the lovers and their feelings for each other. This was a really great couple of blogs. I really enjoyed because it gives us the point of view of Rama and Sita, rather that just one or the other. It helps us understand both sides of the story. They both feel for each other after their first glance and that is just amazing. It was like they were meant too be and this makes a lot of sense because they are incarnations of Vishnu and Lakshmi. The only thing that kind of bugs me about this storybook is Rama’s blog. Rama has always been a character that seemed like a really manly, well-disciplined person. One that deserves to has been groomed to be the future King. I guess I wouldn’t really expect a Prince like Rama to have a journal like the one in this storybook. This might just because I have never been one to write a journal and so I didn’t really expect a character like this one to be one to write a journal. This storybook is really great overall and I can’t wait to see what characters you pick from the Mahabharata.
Hi Mary! I write my notes as I move through the storybook and give my reactions as I think of them. My first impression of your blog was the name: a little plain, but I’m not exactly sure what else to do. I like the starry background. It goes with “epic” very well and emphasizes the celestial properties of the gods it’s about (so far you only have Rama and Sita’s blogs up). With the introduction, have you thought about not indenting your new paragraphs but double spacing in between them? That might be easier to read. If you don’t find a picture of another couple you like you could find a picture of Saraswati to put on this age. I like how you use the other names for days and months. Rama’s blunt way of telling the story really reminds me of a young man, which he is at this time. In Sita’s blog, second day, she says “just a pure as” when I think you mean “as” instead of “a.” in the author’s note you say “love stuck” when I think you mean “love struck.” I like how Sita is vaguely aware of the fact that she’s known and loved Rama for a long time. I like your idea here and am excited to read more.
Hey Mary! This is my first time visiting your storybook so I checked out your intro and first story. However, I have to start by saying that I seriously love your site's design! I really like the background, it's very pretty and the picture on your cover page is stunning. It's all girly and sparkly and I really like it. I also liked your introduction, especially your description of Saraswati. I like the idea of her being a modern woman who posts her knowledge on the web. Your layout and intro seem to really do her justice. You did a good job of getting me interested. As for your first story, I thought it was really fun. I liked that you wrote it as a diary blog post from Rama's point of view. It was a fun look into his head and you gave him a personality type that I had not seen assigned to him before. You made him relatable and gave him the characteristics of a love-struck young guy. It was cool! I love how obsessed with her he became because he had never seen a creature as stunning as Sita. Plus, I loved how excited he seemed to share that he got married to the girl from the balcony. Plus, the picture you chose was great! Awesome job!
Hi Mary. I would like to thank you for all your comments over the semester. Your feedback helped me understand where I was doing well with my writing. I hope you found my comments useful as well.
Hey, Mary! I really like the idea you have for your storybook- Sita certainly is an interesting character so it will be neat to read from her perspective and I definitely enjoy reading love stories so I look forward to reading your blog for that reason as well. I felt as if your introduction was very well written and informative, and you set up the other pages quite well when you wrote “she decided to start a new daily task: writing a blog.” I’m a little bit confused on whether or not the whole blog will be from Sita’s perspectives although there are four individuals with this ability making up two couples, but I trust that will become more clear as the blog progresses. I appreciate how you described how nice and amicable Rama and Sita were even before they got to know each other so I’m already rooting for them to match up (even though I know they will). I like the idea of ancient lovers with a modern twist- blogging on the internet. The background you provided on Rama and Sita was really nice, and I’m interested to see how the other stories for the blog pan out. Great job! P.S.- the cover page looks great as well!
ReplyDeleteMary what great introduction! I was excited to see how you would create your storybook and make your epic couple stories because I am doing mine over the epic couples as well. You did a great job portraying Rama and Sita! Their love story could literally take forever to describe and talk about but I liked how you introduced both the characters, it was descriptive yet interesting. I wanted to read more once I got done with the introduction so that’s a good thing! I also love the picture you chose its a beautiful picture of them two. I am going to have a tough time finding a better picture for my storybook. I can't wait to see what else you have in mind for your book! So far you have done a great job with the introduction and pictures and storyline. Great job! Can't wait to read more stories of couples in love. I liked the colors you chose as well. I would probably change the font just to make the whole site look more appealing. I like the font now but personally I would pick a better font so it would make the reader more excited! But other than that your in good shape! Great job!
ReplyDeleteMary, I love your cover page! The picture that you chose to portray the couple does a wonderful job at displaying the bond between them. They certainly look like they are deeply in love with one another. Moving on to your introduction, I found the method that you chose to portray the story book in to be very interesting. I like the mix of the traditional story with the modern method of blogging as the method of communication. Sita is a very interesting character, so I am curious and excited to see how this will develop. Will Sita be the only character to discuss the occurrences from her perspective, or will Rama be telling how things developed from his viewpoint? Also, does the goddess continue to play a role, or is she there solely to be used for convenience in the story? I really appreciate that you give a back story to the two characters, showing how they develop from their role before they meet into the couple that they become. Do you have any specific scenes that you are planning on focusing on, or are you going to be going over their actions and adventures together as a whole? So far you are doing a really good job. I look forward to seeing your story develop and grow over the coming weeks. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteGreat introduction Mary! I was really intrigued by the introduction of your story. I think the questions you ask at the beginning really hook the reader into trying to figure out why you are asking so many questions at the beginning. The first question, “Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking?” is very powerful at the beginning, because everyone would love the ability to instantly find out what other people are thinking, so I think it sets up your storybook for an adventurous theme. I like how you kind of make the introduction sound like an advertisement for a new reality TV show or something. I felt like I was watching the previews to new shows on ABC instead of reading a story, so great job following that theme and integrating it well! I am really interested to read your stories when you get around to them. I think they would be really interesting if you continued the reality/game show theme. Also, maybe a good idea for a picture is to design maybe a logo type image for a reality show appearing on ABC that features Sita and Rama and their ability to know what each other are thinking! Great introduction!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary! I love you Coverpage! Your layout is super beautiful! The sparkles are perfect for your theme. I also really like the picture you chose. It is so bright and colorful! Your Introction is very intriguing! For some reason, I do not like how the second sentence sounds. I think it would flow better if you switched it up a bit. Saraswati sounds like such an awesome character! Rama and Sita are built up very nicely in this introduction as well. I am looking forward to finding out who the other characters are that you are going to use! Giving Rama a blog was such a creative idea! It gives a nice modern twist to an ancient story. I agree with you, Rama was extremely blunt! I was shocked with how honest he was! The image you chose was very fitting! I think that you should change the font on your page. I feel like a cursive font (but still easy to read) would be more fitting! Good job and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories in the future! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary! You did a great job with your storybook so far! I loved reading your stories so far and I must say you have your readers’ attention throughout the whole story, which is great! I love the cover page layout and the picture you chose for the cover page. I would suggest, maybe use the other couple's picture also in the cover page so they know whom else you is going to talk about in your storybook. I think having only one picture makes it hard for the readers to understand the idea of the overall idea. Your introduction is great and super impressive for readers because they sure want to read more and keep on anticipating what is about to come next. I am keen to see which photo you pick for your introduction since you basically picked the best Rama and Sita picture so far! I love how detailed and direct your blog regarding Rama's emotions were which is great. I am also doing mine over the epic couples but mine is more diary style then blog style. Great job so far! I think you have the right ideas and concepts for your storybook and you sure are in the right direction. Everything looks great so far and I love the background you chose as well. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary! I really loved your storybook right from the beginning! I took a class with Professor Gibbs a couple semesters ago and loved when people used that layout because it has such a romantic feel to it! I loved the picture on that page too because I loved the story of Sita and Rama. I absolutely love all of the humor you brought to your introduction. I think my favorite part was when you talked about the goddess using the internet...very clever! To be totally honest, I usually get pretty sidetracked while reading blogs and stuff but yours kept me totally interested! I really loved the blog from Ramas point of view. I loved all of the personality you gave Rama! I especially loved the part about Rama being so excited about marrying Sita. I thought it was adorable to see how excited he was about marrying her. I thought you did such a good job at keeping the audience entertained and expectant of what your storybook was all about! I really can't wait to read the rest of your additions and to see which couples you end up choosing!
ReplyDeleteGreat design. The picture you chose for you home page was perfect for the content of your storybook. Your introduction did a great job of setting up your storybook. Your opening lines are extremely strong and they grab the reader right off so that they are brought into the world you are creating. Your first story was a creative way to put a new spin on the diary based storybooks we read at the beginning of the semester. I could almost see Sita doing the facebook creep on Rama to see what he had said about her after they finally met. Your introduction said that you would add another picture as soon as we started the next book and you chose another couple. I think once you do a version of Sita’s blog your two stories will tie together very nice. I am sure that they will complement each other and as strong as your first story is, it will become even stronger and more interesting with the addition. I don’t really have too many critiques of your story book, I think once I read the next story I will better be able to get a complete picture of your storybook. You are off to a really strong start and I am looking forward to reading your other stories.
ReplyDeleteOn first visiting your storybook page I noticed the design. I think the image you chose is great for a tale of two couples, as is the background full of stars. Your introduction does a great job of explaining the concept of your storybook. We almost never get to hear what Rama is thinking during the readings, so I really like the idea of your storybook. I think you did a great job of writing the blog entry in you first story. Rama can be a tough character to write as, because we know so little of what he is thinking. You could have portrayed him anyway you like, but I like that you tried to stick to what you think he was like in the story. I liked how Rama is hoping and praying that he will get to marry Sita and he does these trials, because he fell in love with her at first sight. He doesn't know her name or anything about her, but he can't stop thinking about the girl from the balcony. Luckily, he ends up getting to marry her. I think your storybook has a great beginning, and I am looking forward to seeing what you do with the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook. I excited to see it when you finally add another couple, because right now I did feel a little depressed and gypped that I didn’t get to see everything. I think the theme you used is nice, but kind of overused. I think it would be lovely if you added your own background and made it all a little more online dating looking. I know your storybook isn’t an online dating one, but I think it would make everything a bit intriguing to readers, especially if you didn’t use such and overused theme. I’m not quite sure how your introduction plays into your actual storybook. What does Saraswati giving these four individuals the gift of truth really have to do with your storybook? It just seems like you’ve got blogs for each individual about falling in love. I think there would be more interesting ways of doing this (like a dating profile site or an interview type situation). Anyway, right now I just don’t see how the introduction and the individual blogs work together. I love your pictures, though. I think you chose really gorgeous ones, and I’m really excited to see where you take your storybook.
ReplyDeleteHey Mary! This was a really great idea of a storybook, writing a blog about the lovers and their feelings for each other. This was a really great couple of blogs. I really enjoyed because it gives us the point of view of Rama and Sita, rather that just one or the other. It helps us understand both sides of the story. They both feel for each other after their first glance and that is just amazing. It was like they were meant too be and this makes a lot of sense because they are incarnations of Vishnu and Lakshmi. The only thing that kind of bugs me about this storybook is Rama’s blog. Rama has always been a character that seemed like a really manly, well-disciplined person. One that deserves to has been groomed to be the future King. I guess I wouldn’t really expect a Prince like Rama to have a journal like the one in this storybook. This might just because I have never been one to write a journal and so I didn’t really expect a character like this one to be one to write a journal. This storybook is really great overall and I can’t wait to see what characters you pick from the Mahabharata.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary! I write my notes as I move through the storybook and give my reactions as I think of them. My first impression of your blog was the name: a little plain, but I’m not exactly sure what else to do. I like the starry background. It goes with “epic” very well and emphasizes the celestial properties of the gods it’s about (so far you only have Rama and Sita’s blogs up). With the introduction, have you thought about not indenting your new paragraphs but double spacing in between them? That might be easier to read. If you don’t find a picture of another couple you like you could find a picture of Saraswati to put on this age. I like how you use the other names for days and months. Rama’s blunt way of telling the story really reminds me of a young man, which he is at this time. In Sita’s blog, second day, she says “just a pure as” when I think you mean “as” instead of “a.” in the author’s note you say “love stuck” when I think you mean “love struck.” I like how Sita is vaguely aware of the fact that she’s known and loved Rama for a long time. I like your idea here and am excited to read more.
ReplyDeleteHey Mary! This is my first time visiting your storybook so I checked out your intro and first story. However, I have to start by saying that I seriously love your site's design! I really like the background, it's very pretty and the picture on your cover page is stunning. It's all girly and sparkly and I really like it. I also liked your introduction, especially your description of Saraswati. I like the idea of her being a modern woman who posts her knowledge on the web. Your layout and intro seem to really do her justice. You did a good job of getting me interested. As for your first story, I thought it was really fun. I liked that you wrote it as a diary blog post from Rama's point of view. It was a fun look into his head and you gave him a personality type that I had not seen assigned to him before. You made him relatable and gave him the characteristics of a love-struck young guy. It was cool! I love how obsessed with her he became because he had never seen a creature as stunning as Sita. Plus, I loved how excited he seemed to share that he got married to the girl from the balcony. Plus, the picture you chose was great! Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary. I would like to thank you for all your comments over the semester. Your feedback helped me understand where I was doing well with my writing. I hope you found my comments useful as well.
ReplyDelete